Tags
balloon release, birthday, celebration, grief, kid's grief, loss, memories, memory, memory lane, widow, widower
This week was Greg's birthday. To say it isn't as planned now is an understatement. It's hard to have a truly happy celebration of someone who you miss so dearly. He should be here! I should have woken him up with kisses, the kids and I should have "surprised" him with cake and presents, there should have been some birthday romance. But none of that is possible now.
How do you celebrate when the one you are celebrating is gone? Some people send balloons with messages into the sky. Some people do acts of kindness or give to charity on their loved ones birthday. Great ideas!
This is the 5th birthday we've celebrated without Greg. Each year we go out to eat, because that was always something we did with him. I try to keep it low key & just see how the evening flows. I don't force conversation about their Dad, but memories usually come up.
One memory we seem to always land on is the Taco Bell Birthday. Now, understand that as much as we love Taco Bell this was not our restaurant of choice for celebratory meals! We didn't really go for expensive, because with 3 kids that can be overwhelming, but we didn't chose fast food either!
This particular birthday, though, was different. It started out like any other day, until one of us turned on the water faucet and nothing happened. I mean nothing, not a trickle, not a drip. And we have a well so it's not like we could just call the city to come fix the problem.
Greg worked all day trying to figure out the issue. He went to Home Depot 2 or 3 times trying to get a replacement breaker in case that was the issue. Our house was so old, though that he had a hard time finding something that worked.
The time for supper came and went, with Greg still trying to resolve the issue. He never did get the water back on that day. I forget what he ended up having to order or what exactly he did, but it was a couple days later before we could shower and wash dishes again. Fun times!
What I do remember though is that we were all hungry when Greg gave up on his work that evening. We were hungry and frustrated that our evening out had been interrupted. But we had to eat, and it's really hard to cook with no running water, so we ran to the Taco Bell down the road.
Imagine the discouragement…to spend all day (your birthday no less) working on a project that you couldn't finish. So Greg was a little grumpy. I probably was too, honestly! But we ordered, sat down, and started eating. Greg got a text from his cousin that was born 2 days after him – they always kept up with each other, especially on birthdays and that brought him a big smile!
And then we started talking and laughing about the ridiculousness of having a birthday celebration at Taco Bell. This was our "big night out". lol The mood lightened and we ended up having a great time! We decided that it really didn't matter where we celebrated. It mattered that we were together.
I think that's why this memory always comes up. It stands out in our minds as one of the best birthdays because we realized that as long as we are together, we are good! Greg can no longer be with us right now, so it's even more reason for us to stick together. It doesn't matter where we are, we will celebrate together and hold each other up!
Happy Birthday, Greg. Thanks for the memories and for the lessons learned with you. You are forever in our hearts!
The Sun shines, even in the valleys,
Rebecca